hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
