i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Randomize
