He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
