I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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