So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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