Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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