I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize