I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
