I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
