Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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