And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
