I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Randomize