The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
