end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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