I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he laminated a picture of his dick.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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