Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
