You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize