The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
