did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
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doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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