shes about as inviting as chlamydia
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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