well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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