i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
