I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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