When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
