oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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