we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
