alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
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