yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
