Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
time to smoke my breakfast
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
