the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
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Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
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My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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