Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
