$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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