I want to make a zoo with you.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
