So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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