Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
