I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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