oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
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i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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