i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
