Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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