I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
