im drinking this country out of the recession.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She bit a glass in half.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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