I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
it's great music for shaving your balls
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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