Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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