why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
porn star boner night. come get it.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
How did I end up in the pool?!
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Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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