do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
i now understand why vodka
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
