Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
