We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I said "one day" and that day is not today
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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