i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
