I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
