flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
she pinky promised me she was 18
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
