when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
