but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
