So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Randomize
