Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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