before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
This beer is not sobering me up at all
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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