That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
