I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
