This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
