A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
