dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
