you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
