Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
