their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
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We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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