Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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