i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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