so that wasnt chicken after all
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
